i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
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It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Alive.
So much puke
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
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if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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