Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
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The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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