I think I just saw someone hide a body.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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