It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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