Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
pray to the hookup gods
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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