I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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