my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
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He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
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We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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