I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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