She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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