i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
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She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
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All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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