I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize