just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize