you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize