this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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