Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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