im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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