I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize