Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize