He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize