yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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