You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
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My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
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I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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