Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize