as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize