if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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