A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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