Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Bring me that man meat
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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