This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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