My first STD was from a foam party
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
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