Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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