It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize