Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize