I must be too annoying 4 u.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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