happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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