i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize