Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize