Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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