Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize