I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
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the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
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someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
try to milk me bitch
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