Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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