Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
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This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
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I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize