$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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