i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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