Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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