Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize