i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize