I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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