can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize