Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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