pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
What changed your mind?
Being sober
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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