Non-Jews are for practice
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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